Remember when you first heard the news that your child had diabetes? Remember the shock and confusion? The entire whirlwind of emotions you felt? Followed by the struggles to recompose yourself and attempts to digest all the information about diabetes care? Those were scary and difficult times indeed.

Depending on what age your child was diagnosed, the emotional intensity may vary. For example, if your child was very young, i.e. preschool age, there would have been immense pressure to identify what your child is feeling as he/she cannot express him/ herself. You may have reeled at the idea of having to "inflict pain" on him/her with insulin injections. If your child had been older, a teenager perhaps, you may have faced the herculean task of managing both teenage angst, raging hormones and diabetes. Any age would have been a trial.

One of the first significant steps to take as parents of a child with diabetes begins with how you see your child. Avoid using labels such as 'diabetic' on your child as it may have adverse effects on his/her self-esteem and self-worth. His entire identity should not be defined by his/her medical condition. Your child is more than that. He/she may be a person with diabetes, but it does not control him/her. It is merely a part of him/her that requires more attention.

When faced with lifestyle challenges, diabetes care and management need not be seen as restrictions but a way of controlling it so you do not become controlled by it.

There are ways to help both you and your child manage diabetes as well as your relationship. I highly recommend a book titled 'Caring for the Diabetic Soul'. There is a chapter by Debbie Lloyd who shares six secrets of successful parenting:

• Dealing with your own emotions -You may want to spend some time addressing how you really feel, and acknowledge that they are your issues, not your child's. Take the time to process them and come to terms with them. Usually this involves a process of 'grieving'. You could read self -help books, join a parent support group (either online or a physical group) or write down all your true emotions.

• Handling your child's distress - it is a difficult task to give injections to a small child. It is important for you to be strong for your children, to do the necessary procedures calmly, gently and firmly. Children model their reactions after you. You also need to know the pain you 'cause' your child while you inject or prick them today is done to keep them in good health. It is also helpful and essential to help the child deal with his/her anger and frustrations; letting him/her ventilate and acknowledging his/her emotions.

• Learning to "partialise" - there will be times when you are overwhelmed by it all - the management of diabetes, the medical appointments and caring for your children and family. Learn to prioritise and share responsibilities with your spouse or other family members.

• Remember to take care of your own needs: It is very important that you maintain a meaningful relationship with your spouse, enjoy your job, keep in touch with friends and even evenings or time away for your child. You will need a good healthy support system to lean on.

• Accept the food challenge: Food and meal times can be a challenge. To avoid war, provide a choice of foods so that your child feels he/she has control. It would also be best to have the same menu of food for the entire family so your child does not feel he is different.

• Accepting the diagnosis: To move on, you need to accept the diagnosis. Your child is sensitive to how you feel and he/ she would pick up your resentment, anger or acceptance.

* modified from Six Secrets of Successful Parenting by Debbie Lloyd, Caring for the Diabetic Soul. American Diabetes Association